VJ Jordan McGruff: VJ McGruff is one of MTV’s biggest VJs. The VJ is everything 80s and should look and sound as such. The VJ was hired to host the battle of the bands by Greenbacks and is in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly. The VJ should seem mildly annoyed with Frito, mostly because Frito is “passé” and no longer cool.
Frito Baggins: Frito was one of the most well-known rock stars in the world, but his star is fading. He left his band, Frito and the Lays, to pursue a solo career, which didn’t work out very well. This event is a battle of the bands to find Frito’s opening act for his tour, but what he doesn’t know is that he will be the opener and the winner will headline instead.
(Frito Baggins screams loudly off stage and enters in a panic.)
VJ: What happened?
Frito: It’s awful! It’s horrible! I’m scarred for life! Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo IS DEAD! (Pause) Okay, some of you didn’t even gasp, but this is shocking news, even at a rock show. I’ll say it one more time with feeling and this time I’m gonna need everyone to do your best murder mystery gasp. Mark Mothersbaugh FROM DEVO IS DEAD! (The audience gasps!)
VJ: Oh no! What? Frito, that is… heinous! What did you see?
Frito: So I see Mark backstage all normal like, ya know sleeping on his stomach, not moving, blood on his back… but then I’m like... who sleeps with their glasses on? He’s dead!
VJ: Right, but dead how?
Frito: He’s been stabbed with a switchblade. It was so... so... gross!!
VJ: A switchblade? WAIT, how do you know that?
Frito: ‘Cause I found it. Blade was snapped clean off.
(Frito pulls the switchblade out of his pocket.)
Frito: It had some blood on it, so I gave it a rinse.
VJ: That was evidence!
Frito: (Condescending.) Nooooo... it’s a switchblade, pay attention! Duh! I do know a thing or two about switchblades, I own one exactly like this!